Fear The Hose

Fear the Hose

It sits there on the patio, all coiled up and quiet. Nothing for us to worry about. But it can come back to life with just a quick turn of the faucet. It’s the garden hose. Me and Rose hate it, because in the warm months we get our baths outside in the yard.

With that hose.

We hate baths. We get all sudsed up by Dee. Then we have to be rinsed off. A bath seems to take forever. And we’re not really dirty in the first place. It’s not like we roll in the mud all day. Me and Rose are very careful to stay clean.

When we suspect it might be bath day, we look for telltale signs, like Brian setting towels out on the patio table. We look for the shampoo bottle, too.

If Brian and Dee are determined to gives us baths, our only hope is to put up a determined resistance. Rose is really good at this. She goes to a bedroom in the opposite side of the house and gets down very low on the floor. She spreads out all four paws and digs into the carpet.

It’s really hard to budge Rose from that position. She’s a big girl and Brian and Dee have trouble carrying her. They have to go get the leash, attach it to her collar and lead her out to?

The Hose.

I’m little enough to hide under some of the chairs in the house, so I try that. But then Dee and Brian do something very tricky, they say, “Come, Kate, would you like a treat?” I try to stay strong, but oh, my, how I love treats. They keep all different kinds in the house. Big crunchy treats that look like bones, treats that taste like bacon — they’re all so good!

Then Dee rattles the treat jar?it’s almost like I lose control of my legs. I scamper out into the back yard for my treat. As soon as I eat it I hear the sound of?

The Hose.

Okay. I may as well just put up with the soap, the scrubbing, the rinsing and the chilly feeling in my coat. And having Brian rub me down with the towel.

Did I mention I hate baths? Until I’m done and — don’t tell Dee and Brian this — my coat feels soft and my skin doesn’t itch anymore. But the best part is: now I get to watch Rose get her bath. Ha, ha! I’m saying to her in dog language.

She looks at me like it’s my fault she’s getting a bath. When she’s finished being dried off, she chases after me, all through the house and barks and barks. She never catches me because I’m faster.

And then we settle down to naps, because bath day is exhausting. And every once in a while I look over at The Hose, just to make sure it’s all quiet and coiled up again.

Just to be on the safe side, whenever I see Dee pick up the hose to water her flowers, I run into the house and hide. She may be trying to fake me out, you see. She’s always trying to outsmart me and Rose.

Kate, the very clean Spaniel

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