Somebody has to do it so I picked me. If I don’t there will be squirrels all over the place. So it’ my job to chase away those pesky squirrels. You wouldn’t believe how cheeky they are. They wave their big bushy tails around like a flag that says “chase me, chase me but you can’t catch me.” Yanno Why? Because if I get close, those squirrels run up a tree. Now I don’t think that’s fair. If I hafta stay on the ground so should they.
I tried climbing a tree once. There was a nest of yummy baby birds on one of the branches. I tried and tried but couldn’t get up there. It worked out okay ’cause one of the birds fell out and that way my morning snack.
Anyways I don’t mind the little birds so much. It’s the big black birds called ravens I don’t like. If I wasn’t around to chase them away they’d come right up on the pic-a-nic table.
One time Brian put a bag of chili on the pic-a-nic table to thaw out. Well those ravens came right up and pecked through the bag with their big black beaks. Couldn’t have chili for diner ’cause you never know where those beaks have been. Maybe we could send all the ravens back to Baltimore. I bet the football team there would like a a stadium filled with big black raven birds.